How to kiss in 60 ways

Do you know how to kiss?

Although you may think you know how to kiss, I bet you have no idea how many types of kisses exist.

According to Romantic Tips, there are 24 kiss types, from the innocent but fluttering butterfly kiss, to the vacuum kiss, which is supposed to be playful, or even to the hickey kiss which is supposed to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream (this type of kiss is for your wife’s use only, otherwise it might trigger some “volcano eruptions” in your house, making you sorry for knowing how to kiss).

This other resource for romance and lovers not only describes more than 60 types of kisses, but it also provides full tips for how to kiss properly in each of the cases mentioned.
This is evolution! Wikipedia tells us that the Romans distinguished only three ways of how to kiss: osculum, a friendship kiss on the cheek; basium, a kiss of affection on the lips; and suavium (also known as savium), a lovers’ deep kiss.

I did not know that we can learn how to kiss in so many ways and I was thinking of giving it a try. I even got myself a handy and very useful book on kissing,
The Art of Kissing Book of Questions and Answers Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Perfecting Your Kissing Technique (Paperback (Trade Paper)). Then I watched this video “how to kiss” tutorial which made me laugh to tears. Too bad it was taken down from YouTube due to a copyright claim, so you cannot watch it anymore.

Killing Me Slowly With Your Love

Love. The final frontier. Two people sharing the same dream, step together on the path to its pursuit. Happiness is in their eyes, a glorious future is expecting them to live it to the full.

A few years later. The same two people, killing each other slowly day after day, arguing even for smallest things, blaming the other for their own misery which they create and feed with their anger. “Why don’t you just separate and mind your own business?”, we may ask them. “I can’t do it that sudden, because I still love my partner”, comes the answer which is probably key to many unhappy marriages in the world.

I once heard this story:

There was this guy who had a dog. The neighbours could see him one day, taking the dog out in the courtyard and cutting an inch of his tail. The next day, the scene repeated, the guy cut a bit more of the dog’s tail. The third day, again. Then, one of the neighbours asks our hero:

- Hey, my friend, why do you do this to your dog? Is this a kind of a punishment, or what?

- No, it’s not a punishment, the guy replied, it’s just that I would like my dog to have a short tail, so I’m cutting it.

- Why don’t you cut it to the desired length at once then?

- I can’t because I love my dog so much! I don’t want to make him go through such a big pain at once!

The Eight Myths And Truths Of Parenthood

This post is written by the first guest author of this blog, Vivien. She is publishing InspirationBit, a blog about inspiration, life and resources that awaken our creativity.
Myths and truths about parenthoodFirst of all, I’d like to thank Simonne for giving me this great opportunity to write about children, family. I have a two year old daughter and I often wish I knew a bit more about parenting before I stepped into it, and that is why I’ve decided to write on this topic. Today is Mother’s Day in North America. I’m not sure if it is celebrated today in some other countries as well. But I’d like to congratulate every mom who’s reading this post and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. Sometimes I think I was re-born as a new person ever since my daughter was born. I certainly discovered some new qualities I never thought I had in me before. I’ve also learned a lot about parenting and life in general. I’d like to go over some of the misconceptions that most people have about parenting. Hopefully, both parents and non-parents will benefit from reading this.

1.
Fear of becoming a parent.

Myth: We have no skills, no clues on how to raise a child, we’re not emotionally ready yet, not mature enough to become a parent.
Truth: I personally had my share of those fears: I had no idea on how to feed or change baby, how to take care of all her needs. Guess what - I learned it all, along with my husband, through trials and errors. Every parent has to go through a steep learning curve, but everyone eventually becomes a professional in this field.
2.
Not Ready Financially

Myth: We must postpone having children until we are more financially stable.
Truth: Sometimes things can go from bad to worse, you may lose your job, go bankrupt, or get into some kind of other financial troubles. I myself had a well-paid full time job, then it was cut to a part-time job, and after sometime I’ve made up my mind that I should stop my wishful thinking and decided it’s time for me and my husband to have a baby. I eventually got laid off while being pregnant and had to resort to an early maternity leave. Guess what? Despite everything we managed
to raise our child, and I was even able to go back to work while my daughter was still a baby, and build a better career than I had before we started the family. I owe this to my child for motivating me to build a better life for ourselves and for making me a stronger person and a better multitasker.
3.
Parenthood is Torture

Myth: Children will change our lives, take away our freedom and torture to death with their constant cries and demands.
Truth: Yes, our lives will be changed. But for every painstakingly difficult moment there will be ten happy memorable moments filled with joy and laughter. Children are the ones who make our lives meaningful, turn us into responsible adults, and make us want to be a better person.
4.
Rushing into Parenthood

Myth: It’s best to start a family as soon as we get married or together under one roof.
Truth: Just like it’s not a good idea to postpone your venture into parenthood for a very long time, it’s even a worse idea to have children when the couple doesn’t really know each other that well.
Parenthood will challenge your relationship, ending it with a divorce.
Divorce on its own is not a nice thing to go through for adults, but it is much worse when the children are at stake. My advice - get to know each other well enough before having children to be able to painlessly go through some fire together.
5.
Experienced Parents

Myth: Oh, we’ve read so many books and articles on parenting, attended the seminars, that we know it all and are ready for everything
Truth: In reality every parenting experience is different, and your self-esteem may get crashed very soon for not being able to implement the advice-from-the-book in the actual case.
6.
Listen and Follow Others

Myth: We should always listen to our parents when it comes to raising out children.
Truth: During the first month after my daughter was born, we were receiving tens of advices and suggestions about parenting - every day. We were drowning. After trying to implement some of them, I came to a conclusion that nobody has the right answer to address all the issues. Every child, every case is different and deserves an individual attention.
7.
Parenthood shatters the couple’s relationship

Myth: We will never have that magic feeling we had before.
Truth: It all depends on how did you become a parent. If you rushed and you didn’t have enough of pre-children time together, as mentioned in myth #4, then having children might wreck your life as a couple. However if you were ready to sacrifice your old childless life for a new complete one, despite of lack of sleep, lack of free time spent together, if you’re always ready to support each other and take care of
your child together, then nothing and no one will ever wreck your marriage (union).
8.
Parenthood is thankless

Myth: We give everything to our children, and what do we get back - nothing but requests to give more.
Truth: It’s true that we do so much for our children but what we get back from them is far more precious than any tangible thing in the world. We get their unconditional love and trust, their smiles and laughs charge us with the powerful energy, they motivate and inspire us to excel in everything we do. Before I became a mother I was often questioning myself what’s the meaning of life. Now I know the answer - it’s to give life to another human being and do everything in your power to build a happy life and the bright future for the new little human we call our child.

Are friendship and love unconditional?

At first glance, you’d be tempted to say that true friendship and love are unconditional. Think deeper.
Situation 1: unconditional friendship

Imagine you are the head of a family; you have a nice position in the society, a marvelous wife, and happy kids. Your best friend has just stepped in and confessed to you that he committed a crime. You are his best friend, so he doesn’t know where else to go.
What do you do:

* a. tell him to leave your house immediately, because you don’t want to be an accomplice
* b. call the police to inform them, and never get in touch with him again, because a murderer cannot be your friend
* c. invite your friend in and try to figure out a solution together

Situation 2: unconditional love

The same as above, but with your marvelous wife playing the role of the confessing murderer.
How does it feel like now? What would you do:

* a. the same thing as you would have done in Situation 1
* b. choose a different answer

Situation 3: just unconditional

Now you expect me to replace the wife with one of your kids. Instead of that, I suggest you ask yourself something else: is there any person in the world for which you’d preserve the same feelings after the murder confession?

If your answer is YES:
Congratulations, you are really capable of unconditional love! Your friends and your beloved ones can rely on your support no matter what.

If your answer is NO:
Congratulations, you show a higher understanding of love and friendship, you know that a person is the sum of her values, acts, thoughts and feelings. So if a dramatic change occurs, your friend/lover becomes another person, which you can no longer relate to.

How to give constructive feedback

Do you know how airplanes can keep a given course to fly you to your destination? They oscillate around the trajectory: a small deviation to the left, then coming back to the course, then another small deviation to the right, then coming back again, and so on, until they reach the destination. In order to make this possible, there are some systems which give feedback to the pilot (be it human or automatic), so he knows what to do to keep the plane on course.

Think now of the human being: we set our “destination” by defining goals, then we head towards it. How do we know if we are on the right path? We need feedback, of course. But telling you “Stop! What you do is fully wrong!” does not give you information about what to do to correct your course. A possible scenario would be that you would ignore my feedback and keep on moving. Or you could stop and wait. Or you could choose to never speak to me again.

For the feedback to work, it has to follow several rules:

1. Be specific

If you tell me “I loved your presentation”, I can’t get any useful info out of your words (I might even think that you want to flatter me). What if you told me “I liked your presentation because you made your points so clear! You kept the eye contact with your audience all the time, so they were really paying attention.”? This gives me clues about what the ingredients of my success were, so if I want it repeated, I should keep on doing those positive things again.

2. Be balanced

We were wrongly taught in school that feedback is always negative. Although they may realize this is wrong, many people still get upset when given feedback. If you have negative things to say about a performance, you could balance them with some positive facts. Rather than “you crowded your slides with so much info that you made everybody sick”, you could say “your presentation was so thorough, you offered so many details; however, you know how short the attention span of people is; if you tried to put less info on the slides, maybe they would not have missed some of the interesting points you made”. And you did not lie: it’s true, most people have a short attention span.

3. Be timely

Let’s suppose we are friends and you tell me “you remember, ten years ago, although I liked you very much, I could not stand the way you used to dress, because you made such strange color combinations, that everybody was laughing behind your back!”. Thank you very much for such a feedback! Why didn’t you tell me that 10 years ago, when I could have done something about that?

4. Be constructive

As mentioned before, feedback has the purpose to help us correct our trajectory. Embarrassing people and making them feel bad is one thing, helping them see what they do wrong is another. This is where many parents go wrong: they succeed to embarrass their children so badly, and later on, they have such angelic remarks: “I don’t know why my little John is so shy and clumsy! I warned him since early childhood that he is no good and people won’t give a dime on him later on in life!” We need to build self confidence in children if we want them to become responsible adults.

One additional point: give feedback only when you are asked for. If it is not desired, and it is not expected, why waste your time and energy in giving it?

Yet, there are some exceptions to this, such as when you manage a team and giving feedback is part of your job. Or when you want to raise good children. Or when else? Can you add something to the list?

Two words to boost your popularity

Please, take two minutes and think of all the communities you’ve been a part to: school, work, friends, or whatever else. Do they have something in common? They all had their popular one (or few) figures, that guy or that girl everybody seemed to like and follow. How were they different? What makes some of us popular, while others are never noticed?

Until you figure this out, you should know that you can easily earn some “bonus points” with only two words. You can make people see that you care. You can make them understand that you appreciate and respect them. You can make someone’s day.

Try to picture this: since childhood, you had tasks to do, and doing them at your best was the “normal”. You knew that, and you know it today, so you don’t expect any praise or rewards for all normal things you do at school, at home or at work. But there are times when you feel better. If I asked you, you couldn’t tell what triggers these feelings.

May it be because the sun is shinier some days? Maybe.

Or may it be that you have just achieved something you are proud of, and that changed your mood? Possibly.

Or maybe did you hear the two magic words that made your day?

The words I’m talking about are: THANK YOU!

Many times, you can motivate people to keep on doing things, with a simple thank you (although you know, and they know it too, that it was their job to do that).

Let’s imagine some situations when you could experience the magic power of thank you:

* You are a team leader, and your colleagues have just accomplished a difficult task. Acknowledge this by a thank you, whether or not can it be accompanied by a more substantial reward
* You are the proud mom of a child who has just put his room in order. Don’t say something like “you should have start doing this a long time ago”. Just smile and say “thank you for being such a help to me”
* You run a blog project where people send you articles. Send them a thank you note immediately after you receive the material. There’s no big effort in this; you can use an auto responder. And it makes a great difference to your readers.

Such situations are endless. If you don’t believe it, try it for yourself for 10 days. Notice the changes in people around you. Notice the increase in their motivation. Notice how they smile back to you. Does it feel better already? Then why not making it permanent? We can definitely live in a better world, but nobody’s going to make it better for us. Leaders are very few. Most people are followers. Lead those around you to respect and love and you’ll be rewarded with harmony. Lead them to wars and you’ll have hatred and selfishness all around you. Don’t do anything and somebody else will lead you to his/her picture of reality, which you may not always like. It is true that we create our reality. If we don’t enjoy it, we can create a change.

Personality Type: A Powerful Tool For Improving Your Relationship

Do you know the number one factor couples cite as crucial to their satisfaction with their relationship?
That’s right, it’s good communication. There are so many issues couples can disagree about—money, children, in-laws, work—but whether or not these issues become problems depends on how well you can communicate.
If you have serious communication issues, you may need couples counseling. But if your relationship works most of the time, but you occasionally find yourself at a dead end when talking to your partner—or if you sometimes just find yourself saying, “What can he be thinking?!”—then improving your understanding of each other is the key to making your relationship even better.
We often marry people who are very different from ourselves, and this can be the perfect choice. If we find a partner who excels in the areas where we’re weak, that can make for a great team. Problems can arise, however, when it comes to understanding each other’s thinking.

Here’s an example:
David and Julie have been married for five years. Most of the time, their marriage works. David tends to be the forward-thinking partner; he’s always looking at some new investment for the couple or dreaming up a home improvement project. Julie prefers to take care of the details. She’s the one to pay the bills on time and make sure that the couple is prepared to take on all those projects that David dreams up. They make a good team, but sometimes Julie gets annoyed with David having his “head in the clouds” all the time. David, on the other hand, feels like sometimes Julie is just too involved with mundane details, and can’t see the “big picture.” How can we explain this couple’s differences? There is a simple answer: personality type. Julie is a more concrete type; David is more abstract. According to the system of Myers-Briggs Personality Type, which is one of the most well-known and widely used personality theories in the world, Julie is a Sensor, while David is an Intuitive. Julie trusts what she can see; David trusts ideas. This is only one aspect of personality, however. There are four scales in total.
• Extroverted/Introverted—Do you get your energy from being around other people, or from being alone?
• Sensing/Intuitive—Do you see what’s real, or what’s possible?
• Thinking/Feeling—Do you make decisions based on logic, or feelings and values?
• Judging/Perceiving—Do you like to plan and schedule, or keep your options open?

The four scales are combined to make sixteen total personality types. Each person’s Type is described using a four-letter abbreviation; ISTJ, for example, or ENFP. The most common combinations for couples are a match for 2 out of the four scales; for instance, an ESTJ might be married to an ESFP. This means that most couples have a significant common ground in the way they think and make decisions. It also means that most couples have significant differences.
To find out your personality type, and that of your partner, the most accurate way is for you both to take the official Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. This is an approximately 45-minute test that has been extensively researched and validated. Your results will tell you your four-letter type and those of your partner, and allow you to compare your similarities and differences. Recently the MBTI has become available in an online format which provides same-day results—so you and your partner can make a weekend project of studying your personality types.

Once you have figured out your Type and your partner’s, you’re ready to take a look at how they interact. Here’s a look at how differences can play out in a relationship:
• Introverted partner with Extroverted partner: Often, an Extrovert can draw out an Introvert and introduce them to social events they wouldn’t normally gravitate to. Similarly, an Introvert can help an Extrovert become more focused and self-reliant. Friction arises when an Extrovert wants more social interaction than their Introvert partner. The Extrovert may need to learn to be okay with attending gatherings alone.
• Sensing with Intuitive: As we saw in the example of David and Julie, this couple has fundamental differences in the way they think and place importance on different aspects of life. It’s important to focus here on the way these two qualities complement each other in a relationship; both aspects of this scale are needed for an effective team.
• Thinking with Feeling: This is the only scale with a gender difference—which means that women are more likely to be Feeling types while men are more likely to be Thinking. Having a balance on this scale can work well if each partner remembers that the other has something important to contribute. In every decision made together, both the logic of the situation and the values and feelings of all involved should be considered. Each partner should keep in mind that no decision should be made with only the head, or only the heart.
• Judging with Perceiving: This difference most often shows itself in a simple exclamation: “Why is he (or she) always late!?” A Judging partner will sometimes see a Perceiving partner as flighty or unreliable; while the Perceiver may get frustrated that the Judger can’t seem to be spontaneous. Again, the value comes in appreciating the difference. A more spontaneous partner can help a Judger to remember that not everything has to be planned and decided in advance, and a Perceiver can use a reminder that sometimes things do just go more smoothly when there is a plan or schedule.
If you’re coupled with someone who has a different personality type than you do, remember, most successful couples do have significant differences. In fact, ten percent of couples have none of the scales in common. The key lies in understanding your differences, and remembering that your partner’s different viewpoint is an important contribution to your success as a couple.

About the Author:
Molly Owens holds a B.A. and an M.A. in Psychology. She has a background in counseling, education, and the corporate workplace, and a passion for helping people discover their personality type and how it can help them succeed in relationships. For more information on Myers-Briggs Personality Type, or to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, visit http://www.PersonalityDesk.com.

Read more articles by: Molly Owens
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

How to get to happiness

One of the things we never seem to have enough in life is happiness. Nobody could give a specific definition of happiness, but everybody strives to get as much of it as possible. I got in my mailbox the other day a message which really changed my day and which I would like to share with you. The author, Colin G Smith, from http://www.NLPToolBox.com, is a great motivator and his messages are higly inspirational (at least, they got me inspired and changed my mood not only once). Enjoy the article and come back for more.

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“7 Surprising Keys to Happiness”
Copyright: Colin G Smith
http://www.NLPToolBox.com
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Have you ever had one of those days where you just wish you were in a better mood? Perhaps you tried to shift your state of mind to something better but struggled to achieve it.
Sometimes we get stuck in our own ’stinking thinking’ and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood that many people have found useful and some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.
Most folk know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. If you can, go into a natural environment with flowers, trees and birds. What will you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the bird sounds, or the sunlight shining through the tree foliage.

2. Listen to some quality music.
Music creates magical effects. It can shift the listeners state within moments. Why not dig out that album you haven’t listened to in ages or why not tune in your radio to something you’ve never listened to before.

3. Think of others less fortunate.
The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than many, many people on this planet! What if you were to imagine being in space looking down on the amazing beautiful earth, noticing all the oceans and lands with the clouds above… And then thinking about the fact that there are many human beings that are starving, homeless and in lots of pain… Allow your compassion for them to grow.

4. Read something radical!
How many different types of magazines can you get these days?! Have you ever waltzed into a big newsagents and just browsed through the magazine racks? It’s incredible. Why not buy a magazine you wouldn’t normally buy. You never know you may discover something wonderful!

5. Laughing at laughter.
Have you ever had the experience when you just laugh for no good reason? Isn’t it great! Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Can’t think of anything funny?
Try grinning at yourself insanely in the mirror and notice how difficult it becomes to control your giggle muscles!

6. Simple breathing meditation.
A great exercise that you can do anywhere is a simple breathing meditation. No need to dress in orange robes.
Simply find yourself in a comfortable sitting position with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That’s it! Do this for 10/15 minutes and you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised how you feel afterward.

7. Doodling just for fun!
Remember when you were young and you used to doodle with crayons for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures, why not adults? So get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw - doodle away until your state of mind shifts.

You might agree that these are all pretty simple and that’s what’s so good about them. Making changes, mundane or profoundly life-changing, are easily and quickly achieved by putting into action simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques.

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Author Bio:
Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro- Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of ‘The NLP ToolBox’, a personal development book that enables the reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed.
Complete information on Colin G Smith’s books are available at his website, including a FREE personal development eBook.